“He is coming, my love.”
“Who, Grandma?”
“Your prince. He is coming on a white horse.”
This must have been around 2004, so I remember saying:
“Well... perhaps he should upgrade to a car?”
By then, I was beginning to hate the fact that I was such a hopeless romantic who wanted to share my life with someone.
(Please don’t stop reading.)
Anyway, this was supposed to be an essay about Meta glasses.
(My brain does this.)
Specifically, the fact that women are now being advised to play Disney songs when they realise a man might be secretly recording them with Meta glasses, or any other smart glasses.
(No, this isn’t the plot of a new Black Mirror episode.)
Here is the advice (in case you are curious):
If you think someone is recording you with wearable cameras, you should start playing copyrighted music.
Disney songs are the internet’s favourite suggestion.
If the footage is uploaded to Instagram, Facebook, TikTok or YouTube, automated copyright systems may mute it, demonetise it or remove it altogether.
(Well... that's a slight oversimplification. The systems are far more likely to recognise music owned by the major labels. So, not even music is protected equally.)
I mention all of this to my husband at breakfast, where I tell him most things. He hears roughly half of what I say and I’ve learned to just get on with the other half out loud, to myself, regardless.
“But which Disney song?” I ask myself.
“Mm,” he says, which could mean anything.
“Also, blocking a copyrighted song won’t stop the person who recorded you from watching it. It might just stop them from sharing it. I'm not sure I find that reassuring at all.”
By now, I’m clearly talking to myself.
”Apparently music is more protected than women in 2026.” I continue.
(Statements like that, usually get his attention.)
“Is that actually true?” my husband says.
(Bingo.)
"Not exactly," I said.
Copyright has had an international framework since 1886. And one of its fundamental principles is remarkably simple: protection is automatic. You create the work; the protection doesn’t depend on filling in a form first.
More than a century later, we’ve become rather good at automating parts of that protection too. Platforms can recognise copyrighted music in uploaded content and act on it.
Privacy is messy. Consent is even messier.
Meta has tried to deal with the problem in its own way: when the glasses are recording, a light comes on to warn you. (I’m sure we all feel much safer now.)
So, a song can be recognised by software.
A recording can be signalled by a light.
And somewhere in between is a person, trying to work out if they’re actually being filmed.
Hang on.
I can actually sing Disney songs.
Which immediately led me to an important question: if I sing the song live instead of playing the original recording... will the copyright algorithm still recognise it?
Now I have a million questions:
Which Disney song? Would Let It Go work? Or should I go straight for Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?
The practical questions keep appearing…
Does it have to be the chorus? Will I have time to warm up? Because what if there's a conductor nearby? You never know where your next gig might come from. Do Disney publish an official list?
(This essay was briefly interrupted while I planned my anti-stalker repertoire.)
What really amazes me is that somewhere, a room full of engineers managed to build software capable of recognising the first few seconds of a copyrighted song with astonishing accuracy.
I’m not entirely convinced we’ve pointed that brilliance at the right problem.
This is indeed a Whole New World.
(I couldn’t resist.)
Women used to carry pepper spray. We text each other when we get home.
Now we might need a soprano.
(Perhaps I should offer a course.)
Beginner.
Intermediate.
Advanced Disney.
I’m not sure which worries me more.
That this advice exists...
or that it makes perfect sense.
Postscript
Grandma always told me my husband would have green eyes, just like my grandfather. She was right.
I only wish she’d had the chance to meet him.
For the curious:
The Berne Convention was adopted in 1886 and established, among other principles, that copyright protection should not depend on formalities. WIPO - Summary of the Berne Convention